If you’re a relatively friendly person like me and have ever stepped outside of the four walls of your home into social outlets then you can probably relate to what i’m about to say.
I’ll use this scenario for an example though the end result could obviously happen a multitude of ways. You walk into your first day of a college course and take your seat. a few minutes later, an attractive member of the opposite sex(or same sex depending on what you’re into) walks in and takes a seat directly across from you. Something occurs that causes a conversation to spark up between you and the individual and over the next few times of class you continue to interact, each enjoying the other’s company.
Inevitably though, sometimes sooner than later, (but usually after you’ve developed a mild interest) their relationship status is mentioned in conversation and you find out they have a significant other, swiftly and effectively killing all internal musings that you had about possibly dating this person… or does it?
Recently I’ve picked up on a trend that seems to be happening currently in my life. I meet new people quite often, usually more women then men, and one of the common things I’ve noticed is that I tend to ‘click’ better with women who are already in relationships then i do with single women. It could simply be coincidence seeing how there really isn’t any common factor between the taken women other than them being taken, but I just find it kind of weird and admittedly a little frustrating that it seems to be the case more often than not.
The underlying problem with all of this, and you may be able to relate, is that I’m attracted to some of them and actually kind of feel guilty about feeling that way… Why? Well I believe in karma and it’s intricacies, particularly the flow of good and bad karma. So under that belief, If i put out good karma into the world through my interactions with other people i’m more likely to receive good karma back, or receive a blessing from God, since technically He’d be the one to orchestrate all that…
But Anyway my point is that I kind of see the whole thing just being a set up for bad karma in some fashion even if my goal isn’t to steal them away from their man. Think about it, if they come to tell me about something bad going on in the relationship, you think i’m going to stand up for the dude? Nah, in fact me doing anything other than expressing how terrible he is for doing whatever he’s doing would be me doing a good thing lol.
The question I wrestle with is whether or not it’s cool to let the person know that you’re attracted to them… If down the road they decide they want to leave their relationship and date me instead under no persuasion from myself, is that a bad thing? I tell myself that as long as I’m not trying to throw dirt on their relationship or convince the person to get with me instead, then there shouldn’t be an issue having an attraction for them and in some cases, making that attraction known in a very respectful manner. Is that wrong to do? What have y’all done/would you do in those kinds of situations?
Well Mr.G, I think it depends on the type of relationship you and this/these female(s) have. If you both are just acquaintances, then I feel that no harm can come by you letting her know. However, if you are friends then there can be some damage. She may start to feel uncomfortable around you or may not know how to talk to you, especially if she has feelings for you too.
you make a good point. it definitely could be one of those situational types of things but i still wonder if overall it’s just best to avoid that kind of situation altogether. how bout you? have you ever run into this issue?