Dating with a Time Limit

With School temporarily on hold (spring break woot!) I can now blog a little more freely and consistently then I was before so I’ll jump right into this theory that’s been sitting waiting to be typed out.

One of the things that came to my mind recently is that people tend to date with a time limit, whether it be consciously or subconsciously, and it’s something that just about everybody is ‘guilty’ of doing. Allow me to explain.

Look at the term ‘serious relationship.’ What exactly is a serious relationship? I mean technically I know the answer to my question, but a relationship is a relationship, there isn’t anything exclusive about a serious relationship other than the two parties involved taking it ‘seriously’ meaning they’re on the same page time limit wise.

To put it another way, think about some of the relationships you may have had in the past. Surely you didn’t think they were going to all end in marriage right? At least I hope not. You may not have had a good idea when they would end but you knew they weren’t going to be ’till death do you part.’ some of your relationships you had no intention of it lasting past summer, or whenever you do your seasonal dating. Both of those things are Dating with a time limit.

So what exactly determines how long or short you set your dating time limit? Two things. Your intentions and the other person involved.

1.) Your Intentions: You more than anyone else know exactly what you want out of a relationship. You know if you’re just looking for some company or something a little more, and that factors heavily into the time limit you’ll try to set with certain relationships you get into. You’re not going to get into something serious with every person you date and you usually have a good idea of who you’d like to take seriously and who you probably won’t. Which leads to point number two.

2.) The Person Involved: So if the theory doesn’t make me sound crazy enough already, this next point will probably convince you. We all have our own dating time limits… madness right? Hear Me out.

You ever met a perverted person? I mean a person who cannot carry on a full conversation without making some sort of sexual reference. Certain people can tolerate the company of this kind of person and you may be one of those people who can, but have you ever thought about someone wanting to date perverted person? Probably not right? You can’t imagine who would possibly want to put up with the constant sexual conversation. To you, the perverted person has a Dating Time Limit of Near Zero. Now let’s flip the switch.

You ever met that one really nice person, I mean like a sweetheart. And you know that if you dated that person they could make you very happy, possibly indefinitely? To you, that person has long-term dating potential, A dating time limit that can possibly span into years. But if that person doesn’t fit into your current intentions, then there’s no way you’re going to date them. This kind of feeds into the idea that ‘Nice people finish last’ when it comes to relationships.

On Average, a person in their youth typically isn’t looking to get into anything serious, at least not continuously, so when they run into people who almost undoubtedly possess that ‘serious’ potential, they’ll avoid getting into any kind of relationship with those kinds of people, at least for a while, because nobody wants to knowingly step away from a great relationship… At least someone with decent sense. So the nice people ‘finish last’ because,unfortunately, a good chunk of the opposite sex isn’t ready to really appreciate them for how great they are till later in life.

So the real question is, now that we’re aware that we all date with a time limit in mind, is it a good or bad thing? I think it’s a necessary thing. I think relationships need to have something that puts a ‘cap’ on them, so you can kind of rationalize when you truly need to get yourself out of a relationship. Awareness of this time limit also can help you check how much of a ‘time limit’ you portray to potential suitors and what you can do to extend that limit, if that’s something you want to do.

So what do you all think? Is this a theory that has merit or do you completely disagree? Feedback is appreciated but I’m just glad you took the time to read it.