My Opinion of Your Opinion Vol 1: Nice Guys

Because I know that I don’t have an endless supply of subject matter to rattle off every time I decide to post, I’ll be the first one to tell you all that I look at other sources of social media for inspiration. After all, nothing under the sun is original and I just make sure not to straight up steal someone else’s idea.

So I’m doing my usual morning web browsing and I come across this blog post by a lady named Jamie Shupak. On this particular blog post she talks about how nice guys are making a comeback, which you can read in full here.

Now if you regularly read my blog, then you know how I feel about nice guys as they relate to women and vice versa, but if not you can refresh yourselves here.

The purpose of this post is not to tear hers apart or make demeaning comments about anything she said, after all, blogs are supposed to be one’s personal opinion and the worst that can happen with your personal opinion is that you’re wrong.

Now after reading her post, I can’t say she’s “wrong” but I do disagree with her. I’m always wary when it comes to women giving advice on other women because most times it seems like they’re just as clueless about the situation as we men are, which is fine. If I say “I don’t know this girl is acting crazy” and a female friend says something like “Yeah she is acting crazy, I don’t know what her problem is” then that’s Ok with me because we can at least agree that the girl is acting outside of rational thought. However, some of you like to be the unofficial spokesperson on all things women, which is fine also, as long as you know what you’re talking about.

So let’s get into the first thing she says that I disagree with. Check the following:

As two of my girlfriends declared over hot chocolate the other day, nice is making a comeback.

Nice at work, nice on the interwebs, and even—hard as it may be sometimes—nice in dating. I know—what ever will you do without judging someone before you meet them via their Facebook profile? Or the ignoring of her text the day after your first date?

No, I’m not trying to ruin all the fun. It just makes me cringe when I hear nice guys say they get taken advantage of, or tossed to the curb, for a slimy, bad dude.

I don’t care how hot you are, how successful you are, how anything you are—it’s not cool or fun to be mean. And for the record: It doesn’t look good on anyone.

Nice is the new black, if you will.

Not to be rude but I think that from time to time we’re all guilty of patting ourselves on the back for being able to state the obvious. Nice is making a comeback, not because women are suddenly more appreciative of nice guys but because nice guys are being snapped up left and right by women who don’t want to let their rare encounter with a nice guy pass them by. There are a lot of jerks within both genders and from what I’ve observed, when a good guy meets a good girl nowadays, they tend to stick with them. Guess that’s why most of the good female friends I know seem to be getting wifed up by guys who are wise enough to realize their potential and vice versa.

As for nice guys saying they get passed up for bad dudes, they’re saying it because it happens. Just because one can’t personally understand why someone of your sex would choose some douche over your charming/sweet friend doesn’t mean that’s not reality.

She then proceeds to state more things that guys, nice or otherwise, probably already know. Women like mystery, be yourself, be with someone who wants to treat you right, etc. But here’s what really got me.

We all know That Guy: the smooth talker, the lady pleaser, the one who buys a girl a drink, tells her everything she wants to hear, then takes her home. They have a whirlwind, probably intoxicated, night together. She texts him a day later, doesn’t hear back for another two after that, and then… let the games begin. By the time he comes around to ask her out again, she’s grown tired of his shenanigans, and has moved on.

Enter you, the newly reformed Nice Guy.

You buy that same girl a drink, tell her how intoxicated you are by the way she looks, and instead of taking her home, you make sure she safely gets back to hers. When she texts you a day later, it’s because you’ve already messaged her saying how lovely it was to meet her and that you’d love to take her out.

Being nice will land you that date, and many others to follow. I’ve told you this little (not-so-much-a) secret before: a woman falls in love via her mind. So appease that little noggin of hers, and eventually, being nice will get you laid.

Did you hear that?

Being nice will get you laid.

Then, by way of simple logic, if you continue to play nice, you will continue to get laid.

So That Guy had his one night of fun. But you dude, you my friend are having fun forever.

So basically what she’s saying is that after Mr. Douche has had his way with the girl that you, the Nice Guy, are interested in, you should then approach her while being your genuine, sincere self because that will get you dates and eventually get you laid…. Yay??

So I guess we’ll disregard the fact that, in this example, the nice guy still finishes last because the bad guy still gets what he wants out of the situation, while the nice guy is left to do damage control. Or the idea that this approach more than likely won’t work since said girl will probably still be on edge after just recently hearing what seemed like sincere comments from the last guy. See where I’m going here?

And what’s the reward? They get laid. Whoo Hoo! Because when a nice guy pursues a woman he clearly has no intentions of ever sleeping with her.

Let me explain something to my women readers and to my men readers I hope you can agree. There is no “type” of guy who doesn’t want to sleep with a woman he’s interested in. It’s whether or not he decides to make sleeping with you his primary focus that helps to determine what kind of guy he is. Part of what goes into making a nice guy “nice” is that he’s interested in you for more reasons than just wanting to sleep with you, but believe me, he wants to sleep with you.

So in conclusion, I guess Jamie Shupak would fall in that category of female friends whose intentions are good, but don’t really have any actual solutions when it comes to helping the nice guy get a running start when it comes to going up against their bad boy counterparts. But hey, the grass is green, the sky is blue and the world ends soon right?