Romance, to me, is a very peculiar thing.
For something that is so open to personal interpretation, it’s amusing to see how many people claim to know a lot about romance, at least in its traditional sense. However, as we all know(or will come to know) is that romance is anything but traditional.
So a question I ask myself often is what exactly makes someone a romantic individual?
People often tell me(and by “people” I mean girlfriends both past and present haha) that I’m not really a romantic person and I guess I would have to agree.
My reason for not being a romantic is simple: I really just don’t see the need to fit into standard romantic ideals. However, I am very open with how I feel about certain things, especially towards a significant other, so it doesn’t take much for me to express my affection towards someone that I’m dating, both verbally and with small mementos here and there: a nice dinner, some flowers, etc.
And while I don’t mind indulging in some of the more practical “romantic” settings(walks on the beach, watching the sunset, etc etc) It’s really not something that i look to do on the regular if that makes sense and I guess I’m wondering if that’s “OK.”
Now every woman is entitled to some form of romance in their life, and yes, as a man, guys should look for opportunities to cater to their woman. The problem I have, is that some women, especially the ones that are into reading numerous romance novels and watching romantic films, have this twisted(OK I’ll use “heightened”) view of what romance should be.
Obviously, most books and television shows are, at best, art imitating life and can sometimes delve into a realm of fantasy. So it stands to reason that a lot of the content displayed in say the Notebook could really happen but could just as well not happen.
Unfortunately, the line between reality and fantasy is so thin in regards to romance, that a lot of women that heavily indulge in that particular genre can no longer seem to discern between the two.
It can get to the point where if a guy isn’t planning romantic getaways or surprise dates on the regular, he isn’t viewed as a romantic. But what about the small things, and I mean the really small things. Say there was a book that my girlfriend really wanted, and I decide to buy it for her on a whim without her even asking and surprise her with it, is that not considered being romantic? Some would say no and that it’s more of a ‘nice gesture’ which confuses me even more.
Granted, it’s not an “official” dictionary, but here’s what Urban Dictionary says about “romance”
True romance is doing something special or unexpected for someone you love, even though you don’t have to. Romance isn’t a greeting card, it isn’t Valentine’s Day, it isn’t a box of chocolates, and it certainly isn’t a dozen roses (unless you like that sort of thing). Real romance is not what modern society has been taught to think it is. Real romance isn’t manufactured. It is completely individual. Romance is for showing the person you love that you’re thinking about them. It shouldn’t feel forced. There are no limits to romance; it can be shown by a handwritten note, by going for a walk, or even by making someone a sandwich. Romance is something simple and sweet that reminds your partner why they fell in love with you in the first place.
Call me delusional, but I always figured that’s what romance was, not these 45433134 different variations of it that modern society has led us to believe. But then you hop on social media sites, only to see a good number of your female friends stating that they wish their romantic lives were more like the sappy love film they just saw, and I just want to grind my teeth together knowing that a horse ride through Central Park is one of the few lanes I have to be viewed as a “truly” romantic individual.
I guess in conclusion, I’m not saying that if I slap some cheese and ham onto some bread and serve my girl a sandwich because she said she was hungry that she should automatically feel like the luckiest girl on earth but don’t tell me I’m not romantic because I’m more likely to bring you a pint of your favorite ice cream than plan a picnic on the beach. If that’s the case, then I guess a “hopeless romantic” would only be miserable around me…
