Antonius’ Guide to the Unspoken Wedding Rules

Despite my general indifference to most things that involve heavy romantic elements, I’m actually a big fan of weddings, and yes it is mostly for the reasons you might think. Whether I’m sitting in the ceremony or the reception, believe me when I say that I’m rooting for the couple involved. I’ve always taken marriage very seriously (which is one of the reasons I’m in no rush to get married myself) so when I see two people who are willing to take that leap of faith on that road of ups and downs, I genuinely hope for the best for them. For the groom and bride whose wedding I attended this past weekend, I hope for nothing but undying love and prosperity for you guys in the years to come.

With that being said, I can’t help but create my own fun whenever I go to a wedding. You can deny this following statement if you’d like, but most attendees of weddings consciously enter into a unspoken competition with each other. This is what brings me to the unspoken wedding rules.

I can’t speak for everyone, but years of wedding attendance and observation have taught me quite a few things. I’ve also realized that the age old joke about people going to weddings to possibly find THEIR future significant others is not so much a joke as it is a factual statement.

If you’re planning or will be attending a wedding in the near future,here are a few of what I find to be the most common unspoken rules about being a guest at a wedding:

**DISCLAIMER: This level of pettiness may or may not apply to already married couples**

1.) Outside of the bridal party, you must be one of the best dressed people there.

2.)  You got to have all of the single members of the opposite sex secretly hoping to “bump” into you at some point during the wedding and/or reception.

3.) If you show up with someone on your arm, or show up on someone’s arm, your goal as a couple is to inspire as many jealous thoughts as possible.

4.) Even if you have no interest in catching the garter or bouquet, you’ll still join the willing crowd just to confirm to those who’ve been checking you out all night that you’re not already taken, and by “taken” I mean married.

5.) Regardless of how many people you many actually know, your primary goal that day is to impress complete strangers.

Those are just five common rules that I’ve either witnessed,or been a willing participant of, in the past few years. What about you all? Are there “rules” you’ve set for yourself whenever you’re out at a wedding? Let me know in the comments below.

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