To my credit, I can say for SURE that I’ve sat down in front of my laptop at least 3 different times to share my thoughts and updates about my life since this new year started… One time I even got as far as writing a post title… Which is still sitting in my drafts and will probably remained untouched until God knows when.
I wish I could explain why I haven’t felt motivated to write on here since September of last year, and to be fair, there’s been a lot that’s happened in these past 5-6 months that have been equally deserving of my attention… Of which I’ll do a quick little recap:
1.) I started my own company/website- Days after my last post on here, I got straight to work on revamping an idea I had back from 2011/2012 and turning it into a business model. I launched ArtisticVisionaries.com in November of last year and I’ve been plugging away at it ever since. I wish I could tell you that I knew what I was doing, I don’t. But I know what I want it to be and I’m slowly bringing that idea to life.
2.) I decided to take my Acting Career seriously again- This is a weird phrase for me to write, because it implies that I WASN’T taking my career seriously before, which isn’t true. However, what is true was that I kept allowing myself to be more concerned with my day to day plans rather than my long-term goals.
It’s not hard to convince yourself why Today’s phone bill is more important than tomorrow’s head shots, but I did have to convince myself that tomorrow’s head shots may lead to a future where I no longer have to worry about my phone bill being paid on time with the added bonus of actually DOING WHAT I LOVE TO DO… So Yeah.
3.) My Grandfather Passed Away- My last living grandparent passed away in December, two weeks after the passing of one of my grand-aunts. He had been sick for awhile with kidney issues, and knowing him, he was probably just tired of having to constantly go to dialysis and undergoing surgery.
Deep down, I knew I wasn’t going to take it AS HARD as my grandmother’s(his wife’s) death on my mom’s side…I WEPT for her even before she passed. Honestly, my grandpa was not the same man once she passed, which is completely understandable, but difficult at the same time when you see your loved one slowly become somewhat of a shell of their former self. Part of me feels like I mourned for him as well while he too was still alive… I still cry about it in my sleep sometimes.
His funeral was also making me realize that things are slowly starting to come full circle. The older relatives are only getting older and eventually I too will become that old relative. It’s just the inevitable generational cycle.
4.) I decided to start working on my oft-delayed book: There’s a certain level of truth when it comes to letting your plans come to life instead of just announcing them before they’re complete BUT there’s also a level of truth of putting your ideas out into the universe so you can be held accountable.
I had this idea for a fictional book since I was 19 and I haven’t added not a single page to the 20 page rough draft I’ve had since 2008. Basically, had I not kept putting it off, it would’ve been finished by now, if not already out for public consumption. My excuse was always that I “didn’t have enough time” to write it at the moment. 7 years later, I still don’t have “time” and it’s still not done. I refuse to die and take this idea with me to grave so I’m writing it, God as my witness, I am.
5.) I’m Moving to LA– I can easily rattle off 20 different reasons why I shouldn’t be moving to California, much less moving period. I can think of reasons why Atlanta would be a much more sensible (and safer) choice to make my move in regards to almost every aspect of my career advancement. Man, I can think of so many dope things that I could do wit the MONEY that I’m going to be spending going to a place that I’ve never been before where only a handful of people that I know live.
But I’m still moving there in July.
At 25 years old, I’ve spent most of my life making the “sensible” decision in most situations with minimal regrets. It’s the “minimal risk, minimal reward” mindset that most of us are comfortable living our lives by… because it make sense. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I want to take a big risk. I want to challenge myself and push myself to perform at the peak of my abilities. I want to leave what’s comfortable and familiar and what I’ve always known and do something that’s going to force me to work harder than I ever have to get what I really want.
Maybe California doesn’t work out and I lose a lot of money and gain a lot of experience to do better somewhere else OR maybe it does and my life changes forever. Either way, Summer time or Bust.
That’s it for now. More coming later ( I hope)
