Somehow I always get to these updates roughly a week after I intend to write and post them.. Nevertheless, here I am with some more Tales From The Westside
Taking Classes Extra Classes:
Now imagine with me, if you will, that you spent a considerable amount of money in order to acquire the skills needed for a certain profession. Upon obtaining those skills, you went out into the world to put said skills to the test and find ways to succeed in that profession.
However, as soon as you embarked on this journey, you were informed that your costly training was but a drop in the bucket, and you still have a long ways to go in terms of being considered a ‘professional’ in your craft.
That’s what being going on for me in LA.
As an actor, in order for you to be taken seriously enough to even be let into an audition room, you need either considerable credits from the various studios or considerable training with the “right” people… As you can probably guess, I have neither.
So about 2 weeks after I got back, I ended up enrolling in some classes within a very notable studio… since my “I don’t need classes, I’m a good enough actor” route was not opening a single door for me.
I have to say, despite the hefty price tag that it came with… I learned a lot in that short time span, and if funds weren’t an issue (or if I had the courage to swipe my credit card again) I’d definitely be taking enough classes for me to audition for films just off the strength of my training credits alone.. But Alas…
Getting to Know Myself:
I’d like to think I know myself pretty well… I mean I could be unknowing of small little habits, etc that I may have but ultimately I’m the only person that knows what’s going on in my head at any given point and yet after these classes that I’ve been taking, as well as with the time I’ve spent out here so far, I’ve quickly come to realize that I don’t know myself nearly as well as I think I do.
For example, there was a scene in my class that required that I become really emotional… I don’t mean “cry” but as close as I can get to it without it actually spilling over into full on crying.. and I couldn’t do it.
It was REALLY Frustrating for me, because in the times that I’d rehearsed the scene beforehand, I was able to bring myself to enough of an emotional state that I teared up but once I got in front of that camera my eyes never felt more dry.
After talking with my teacher, I realized that at some point in my life I’d put up a wall (or several walls) that intentionally makes it difficult for me to show my emotional side in front of other people. I found this to be true because I’ve always been uncomfortable being transparent with my feelings in front of people.. I found refuge in always appearing to be calm and collected on the outside and denying myself what I was feeling on the inside.
It’s frustrating, but at the same time very interesting, because now I have to find what really makes me tick as a person, both good and bad, so I can then channel that range of emotions into my work.
I had more to add but I feel like this makes for a good stopping point for the week… I’m so curious to see what I’ll learn about myself as I begin to chip away at these mental walls that I’ve put up to “protect” myself from the person I truly am. It should make for an interesting Journey…
